3 Ways to Handle a Competitive Co-worker Who One-ups You - The Muse

3 Ways to Handle a Competitive Co-worker Who One-ups You - The Muse3 Ways to Handle a Competitive Co-worker Who One-ups YouRemember that friend in high school who was constantly trying to prove that she had the hotter boyfriend, the cooler clothes, and the better car? Yeah, you do.The good berichterstattung You can now easily block her brags on Facebook. The bad news That kind of behavior cant be as easily removed from your life in the workplace. In fact, you can find it in almost office in America- I call this partie (dun, dun, dun) the one-upper.If youve ever dealt with a co-worker who always attempts to prove he or she is better than you, youre not alone. Ive worked with my fair share of one-uppers over the years and in the process learned how to make sure they dont affect my routine.1. Think About MotivesI once worked with someone who tried to out-do me on everything. If I had a good idea, hed blurt out five to prove the point that he had more. If I mentioned I was going to arriv e at the office at 9 AM, hed come at 859 AM to show that he was more dedicated. You get the picture. What at first I thought was healthy competition became increasingly absurd.After spending a few weeks getting angrier and angrier, I began to think about why he was so aggressive in his one-upmanship. And once I took a moment, it made sense He was older than me, he had been working for that employer a lot longer than I had, and he truly felt like he was due for a promotion. It was less about me specifically and more about him vying for the next big opening.While my realization didnt necessarily change his behavior, it changed how I viewed it. And once I stopped taking it personally, it made it much more tolerable. So, before you take any action, find the motives behind why someones constantly trying to out-do you. Does it even have anything to do with you? In most cases, its not about the players its about the game.2. Dont Try to One-up the One-upperA lesson Ive learned from personal experiences Dont waste your time trying to one-up the person whos attempting to one-up you. It turns into something out of Bride Wars, with two people perpetually sabotaging each other. As tempting as it is to be passive-aggressive or rude, remember that neither of those things will further your career. When it comes to ultra-competitive people, you may win the battle, but you wont win the war. (And trust me, its not a war you want to win.)Instead, choose what you spend your energy on when it comes to a one-upper. For example, do you really need to call out the fact that he or she keeps trying to best your weekend stories in the group chat? Probably not.3. See if Its Affecting the TeamUnlike other office offenses, its hard to go to your boss and say, Shes constantly one-upping me without sounding whiny. Additionally, its nearly impossible to confront the offender- after all, what can you really say without coming across as paranoid or overly sensitive?Before you do anything, consid er how this persons competitiveness is affecting your work and the team as a whole. Is the constant desire to prove something holding back important tasks, or is this person more annoying than anything else? If its a serious issue thats truly affecting your responsibilities, its easier to go to your supervisor with your concerns. But hold off until you have something concrete to prove that this person is creating a harmful work environment. The more people affected, the easier it is for your supervisor to feel the need to get involved.However, odds are that the persons just going to have to be written off as one of those frustrating aspects of your job that you have no power to change. You can, however, change how you view and react to the situation- and that, I promise, improves it immensely. Yeah, I know One-uppers are pretty annoying to deal with. But its important to take the high road in this situation. After all, who can one-up class?Photo of cyclists courtesy of Shutterstock.